Progress

After the Christmas holidays back in the home land I returned to a completely different guy. Well not really, Special was still the same sensible, caring and articulate person I said see you soon a few weeks before but absence had definitely done its trick. After the first night which was obviously fairly affectionate, Special kept ringing and texting me all the time.

Last night was the icing on the cake. Special had to meet some people but against my doubts he returned home fairly early and couldn't keep his hands of me. It was so unreal I even asked him what was up with all the attention and as he often does, he gave me an odd glance and told me he is just delighted to have me next to him. Later he nearly freaked me out by saying how happy he was with me and how he wants to stay here holding me forever.

I still haven't said the L-word. It nearly came out of my mouth last night when he kept feeding me with the words I had been longing to hear for so long. But...I know it's not the right time. Eventhough he's getting keener and keener, it will still be too much.

Tonight he asked me to come over to his house. He said he misses me already eventhough we only parted in the morning. I found myself holding back (for once!!) and telling him I was too busy with work. That was an awful lie and I regretted it straight away but I guess there's still a tiny bit of dignity left in me.

Meanwhile, I met Shaman and his girlfriend out and about. The two of them seemed to be in great form which made me very happy. Things are finally showing their brighter sides to one of the most important persons in my life. It still unfortunate that the friendship we had is never going to be the same.

I also met X. We had a massive argument about false promises (heh, some things never change) and he refused to take the blame as usual. In the end I managed to calm myself down and tell him it didn't matter and walked away. It's all sorted now but I was again reminded why me and him chose to walk different paths.